Tag Archives: mean emails

Alternate life boy-me is living the dream

Lol. No. Not at all. Boy-me’s life doesn’t seem so great either.

So my email address, which I will not leave here, is just my first initial and my last name. Most days I will receive emails addressed to “Joseph [my name last name, presumably also his].”

And goddamn. It appears that Joseph’s life is also particularly You Life-y.

Here are some samples of what I receive on Joseph’s behalf:

you life - joseph me 3

He’s in credit card debt. I called this credit card company to ensure that someone didn’t steal my identity (and also to ensure the credit card company that if someone did – I’m already in credit card debt and that I was the wrong mark). They assured me that Joseph is taking care of it. Good job, Joe!

you life - joseph me 2

He’s also in crushing student loan debt! Fuck yeahhhhhhh, buddy. Me too. Go us on taking the gamble on higher education in the face of what is basically high interest loans distributed to teenagers.

you life - joseph me

He drives a 1998 Isuzu Hombre – a car that I’ve never ever heard of. But some engine or whatever the fuck is inside cars looks like a smiley faced character from a Pixar movie!

you life - joseph me 4
Goddamn. That thing is fucking cute.

Other things I’ve received on behalf of Joseph:

  • Canceled airline ticket emails from Spirit airlines
  • Email warnings about manufacturer recalls because something he bought is fucked
  • A furious email from his ex (God, I really wished I saved that one but it was from like 7 years ago and I wanted to mature. But fun side note, I used to use pieces of that vitriolic hate email from his ex to emotionally destroy other people – my favorite being, “drink gasoline and then light a goddamn match.” IT DOESN’T EVEN MAKE SENSE BUT IT’S SO FUCKING MEAN)

 

So Joseph [my last name], it’s good to know that the combination of our first initial and last name has generated a better understanding about what it’s like to be us – deeply in debt with terrible methods of transportation and exes that profoundly hate us.

Free to be you and me!
you life

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Filed under bro dudes, emails