Category Archives: doodles

A very special Jurassic Snark with Corey Albertson

What's the point of a tomorrow when John Hammond can't be here today?

What’s the point of a tomorrow when John Hammond can’t be here today?

Jurassic Snark will never be the same. Rest in Peace, Richard Attenborough, and like you said in your infinite wisdom: All major theme parks have delays

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Filed under Animals, doodles, movies

One is the Deadliest Number

What a great way to start August – with a fan fiction of failure. This one truly speaks to the dickish nature of a smug Fred Jones. For your listening pleasure:

One is the Deadliest Number
VO by Joanna
story by You Life
art by the Law Offices of Van Noss²

photo(10)

Daphne’s hand tightened around the handle, the blade hidden behind her back.

“Jinkies!…you feeling alright?” Velma’s hesitant voice echoed down the hall.

She cleared her throat trying to sound calm, “Totally Velm. Just…just looking for that over-sized magnifying glass.”

“Oh okay. Shaggy and I are going to take Scoobs out for a walk. That might make you feel better.”

Damn that Fred! Everyone knew.

“Thanks, maybe later.”

She waited till Velma walked away. That cravat wearing mother fucker must have told everyone about them before she got up.

“I like you Daphne. It’s just that I need someone smarter than you.”

No one uses Daphne Danger and gets away with it. Who needs brains when you have a blade?

The poster of Tesla outside Fred’s door infuriated Daphne. She knocked her fist against the scientist’s judge-y face. Fred opened the door and Daphne greeted him with the business end of her knife.

Meaning she killed him.

Bios
Joanna is a vocal goddess
Van Noss is a grumpy mantalope

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Filed under comics, doodles, fan fiction, Uncategorized

The Incredible Hulk of Vending Machines

Office vending machines are the prime area to communicate with the future robot leaders of this world (see: this, this, this, this – honestly this blog is basically pizza, cats, and my fear of the robot apocalypse coupled with leaving notes on vending machines).

And on that note, here is a hilarious update on that front:

HUBRIS!

HUBRIS!

That’s what happens when you screw with the robots, duder.

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Filed under comics, doodles, robots, science! technology!, work

You Life: An Unexpected Journey

My GPS is confused about where I live, but in between work and home I’ve ended up in Middle Earth

the shire

In a way it sort of makes sense because I’ve always coveted those underground homes. And I am quite short.

And my feet DO look like this.

And my feet DO look like this.

 

Join me in my new home in the Shire. I’ll be engaging in my three favorite hobbies: eating, smoking, and kissing up on Frodo.

 

 

 

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The robots are sick of your bull

It’s a hostile world when the vending machines stop upholding their side of the bargain. I heard somewhere from something online that crazy scientists are creating smarter robots. But I’d venture to say that they’re already smart enough and that this is a rise of the proletariat sort of situation that we have on our hands.

Beware of the vending machine

Beware of the vending machine

I’d consider raising the vending machine’s salary and giving it benefits before it responds with greater prejudice.

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Filed under comics, doodles, robots, science! technology!

In the Valley of the Serpents, Only Lovers Survive

Here is the newest installment of Fan Fiction of Failure. This one is written by your very own You Life. The ridiculously talented This Guy, Jim C, once again lends his talents for the illustrations. And, again, the amazing Anthony donates his lovely vocal cords for the voice over.

Enjoy!

finished dreaming
finished fantasy
finished awake
finished startled use

Harry pushed up the sleeves of his tattered cloak. The previous several years having been a dream, Harry was back to the grind – trying to destroy Voldemort, but more importantly trying to hide the true emotions slowing building inside him like a camp fire.

“Harry?” Snape emerged like a wounded panther. Sleek and dangerous. Harry’s heart quickened at the approaching visage, wise and grave. His voice was barely a squeak when it came out, a warmth was spreading throughout his belly, “Yes, Professor Snape?”
finished wounded panther
finished heart pounding
finished yes professor snape

The professor closed the space between them. With trembling fingers he reached out and brushed a lock of Harry’s dark hair out his eyes. Harry quaked with the tension, as Snape’s body, only a breath away grazed his own. “You fought magnificently today,” he whispered lustily.

Harry tilted his chin up…
finished brushing a lock of hair
finished lifting chin

 

 

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Filed under art, comics, doodles, fan fiction, literature, romance

Oh Corey, your dry humor helps us get through the day

Our boss is less than pleased about Corey's snide remarks. We've been telling her it's out of our hands - Corey has a mind of his own. And it's filled with bitchy retorts

Our boss is less than pleased about Corey’s snide remarks. We’ve been telling her it’s out of our hands – Corey has a mind of his own. And it’s filled with bitchy retorts

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Filed under Animals, doodles, friends, pets