Category Archives: crafts

Color my way into your heart

What're you dreaming about?

What’re you dreaming about?

 

 

 

 

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Filed under Animals, crafts

I wanna be where the people are. I wanna see, wanna see them dancin’

A few years ago I was on the phone with my mom and was telling her about my weekend plans and she responded with this direct (and haunting) quote:

You’ve got your cats and your knitting…sounds like you’re really clickin’ your heels over there in Philadelphia.

So…I tried to brush that off, but upon some re-inspection I might have to reevaluate all of my life choices, and drink a bottle [box] of wine, and cry while shout-singing “Part of Your World” to my feline companions.

Friday night. Just got paid. My cat found my knitting

Friday night. Just got paid. My cat found my knitting

...like, it's not a GREAT feeling when even your cat kind of disrespects you

…like, it’s not a GREAT feeling when even your cat kind of disrespects you


I’m ready to know what the people know!!!!!!

 

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Filed under Animals, cats, crafts, movies, music, Philadelphia, wine

I need a hobby

Outside of this:
Dr+Dre+OUT046332

Funemployment has taken a dark turn to focus on Dre, cats, and Microsoft paint

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Filed under Animals, apartment, broke, cats, crafts, music

A You Life anniversary…retrospect

It’s high time for an anniversary edition of You Life, but since this just occurred to me and I missed the date by four months I guess this is just a retrospect.

You Life started with an instructional guide on how to devastate some PBRs and then paint a kitchen table. Memories

And to celebrate that momentous occasion in the old apartment I’ve unearthed some gems

That is an omnipresent specter presiding over the battle of zombies vs unicorns

That is an omnipresent specter presiding over the battle of zombies vs unicorns

The glory that was the kitchen - with the masterpiece center stage

The glory that was the kitchen – with the masterpiece center stage

A better view of the unicorn side, before the 6th grade notebook tagging joined the battle

A better view of the unicorn side, before the 6th grade notebook tagging joined the battle

Clear view of the zombie side. That zombie has a bloody unicorn tail in his palm

Clear view of the zombie side. That zombie has a bloody unicorn tail in his palm

 

But I feel strongly that the unicorns prevailed

But I feel strongly that the unicorns prevailed

Happy anniversary, You Life!

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Filed under apartment, beer, crafts, doodles, friends, unicorns, zombies

Life imitating…well not art, but it is imitating something on this blog

I started this blog as a response to the good intentions of people that run blogs and post about their perfect perfect lives. It’s kind of insane that monetary exchange has been made based off of faceless people being voyeurs.

There has never been a moment of my life where I thought, “I would love to see how fucking awesome this stranger’s life is. ” I’ve never wanted to marvel over this internet mirage’s abilities to find so much time in the day to knit a cat litter cozy, applique some glitter to ugly thrift store clothing, and photograph seven million pictures of them kissing their mate. Because of two things:  1. I am insecure and 2. I don’t like feeling happy for other people. I would much prefer to make fun of other people. Hence this right here.

However, while I do love pointing out the various absurdities of my life, I am beginning to think that there might be some karmic retribution for taking such joy at hating those lifestyle blogs so much:

Come ON!

I know that some of my actions are condemnable…but does my apartment have to be as well?

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Filed under crafts, cranky, horrifying, Philadelphia

Crafts to not teach your children (double trouble, part II)

This is a perfect craft for people who want to bring the charm and hilarity to, say, a breaking and entering. No one will shoot the felon in a watermelon mask! Admittedly this is also a guest post, as the watermelon mask was supplied (filled with tequila) by Cassie P, and crafted by the extremely talented John L. I am the one modeling it.

I’ve come to steal all of your cupcakes! And pet your dog!

How to do it? Easy sauce:

Step 1: Fill watermelon with tequila – as done by Cassie

Step 2: Drink the tequila

Step 3: Eat the watermelon

Step 4: Get John L to cut it up into a mask

Step 5: Put that shit on your face. Watch out for the knife and also your friend not caring that they are putting a piece of fruit with a knife in it onto you face.

Happy crafting!

I am wearing this every single time I go out.

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Filed under cooking, crafts, food, friends

Urban gardening

Sometimes You Life needs a guest who is doing the productive stuff. That is the case this week. I have done nothing in the creation of this; it is all the efforts of another.

My boyfriend has a backyard that is generally populated by junkyard cats (all of which we have named: Buster, Auntie, and the babies). It is also the home for a great deal of garbage that neighbors dump there instead of walking to the front of the complex. In an effort to create a hospitable environment for himself, and with the hopes that there might be summer barbecues in the backyard, boyfriend decided to turn his trash heap of a backyard into a garden.

This proved a problem due to the unusually large amount of cinderblocks dumped onto the land. But, always the optimist, boyfriend tilled the soil, got rid of the garbage, and used an old (soaking wet) mattress to turn the cinderblocks into the foundation for an urban garden.

We had the tools of the trade (mattress, beer, spray paint, and American pride) and urban gardening prevailed. You life is not so urban garden as ours.

Captains of industriousness!

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Filed under beer, crafts, Dumpster diving, gardening, Uncategorized