How to make an ashtray

Here is a really quick craft project that will only take a few moments to create. I call it “how to make an ashtray.”

Step 1: Go to the store. I like to go to a deli that is close to my apartment, the proximity is key seeing as how I don’t own a car, don’t have a license, and don’t know how to drive.

Step 2: Purchase a forty. I like Colt 45, but Mickey’s is especially dear to me. Also, Hurricane is good.

Step 3: Go home and drink the forty.

Step 4: Get cigarettes. I am smoking Pall Mall Lights because I used to smoke Parliament Lights and Pall Mall Lights are like Parliaments for poor people.

Step 5: Light cigarette. I used a barbecue lighter because I don’t know where my actual lighters or matches went. You can also use the stove or toaster.

Step 6: Flick ash into empty forty.

Congratulations! You just made your very own ashtray!