Tag Archives: cigarettes

[Poll] Which joke do I go with?

While on the field for my job (my highly important job that I love, not at this place that keeps rejecting me from a job I didn’t want), I was waiting for the bus (because I don’t know how to drive) and saw this:

IMG_5939

Nature is both surprising and awe-inspiring

And my bitter snarky mind immediately wanted to send joking text messages to the five people that will entertain my shenanigans.

BUT I DON’T KNOW WHICH WAY TO GO WITH IT.

Please help:

 

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under gardening, going green, literature, my prerogative, Philadelphia, public transportation, work

How to make an ashtray

Here is a really quick craft project that will only take a few moments to create. I call it “how to make an ashtray.”

Step 1: Go to the store. I like to go to a deli that is close to my apartment, the proximity is key seeing as how I don’t own a car, don’t have a license, and don’t know how to drive.

Step 2: Purchase a forty. I like Colt 45, but Mickey’s is especially dear to me. Also, Hurricane is good.

Step 3: Go home and drink the forty.

Step 4: Get cigarettes. I am smoking Pall Mall Lights because I used to smoke Parliament Lights and Pall Mall Lights are like Parliaments for poor people.

Step 5: Light cigarette. I used a barbecue lighter because I don’t know where my actual lighters or matches went. You can also use the stove or toaster.

Step 6: Flick ash into empty forty.

Congratulations! You just made your very own ashtray!

2 Comments

Filed under beer, crafts