Category Archives: Holidays
It’s the best day of the year for me.
In consideration of this celebration, I’ve compiled several resources to help you and your feline friend get the most out of your day:
Pretty much nothing.
The holiday season is when we allow an elderly man that lives as a recluse to break into our homes. I dare anyone to look at these two iterations of Santa and wonder who wouldn’t feel totally terrified of this man? So much red. Redrum.
It doesn’t help that every year that my friends and I get photographed with Santa he somehow finds a way to inappropriately touch me (see). Leading to this joyful Christmas joke:
Which is why it makes total sense that my beloved, and miserable, cat George decided that Christmas was the perfect time to die. He had no time for candy canes, or laughing babies, or the inappropriate sexual advances of Santa. “Fuck it,” he thought. “I’m just going to die instead.”
Though there are always bright spots, like this Vonnegut fan at the local Wawa giving all customers this Christmas miracle.
And of course there is also when your friend knows you so well that she makes you into a Christmas .gif depicting you as a cheerful Christmas elf that you so truly are. Or at least you drinking.
Glad that you’ve all survived the holiday season. I’ll see you in the New Year where we can start our plan to kill Santa.
IT’S A GRAND OL’ FLAG IT’S A BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH
It’s July, which means that, as Americans, we get to celebrate our Independence. And what could be more celebratory, American, and independent than a fan fiction of failure?
This magical and patriotic fan fiction comes from one of the brilliant minds at Emerson, the art from a creative innovator in London, and voice over work from the soulful vocals of a popular VO professional. Enjoy!
George Washington was sitting in his office scanning his bookshelf when his good friend, John Adams, came in to chat.
“Hello George,” John said, “how’s the government today?”
“It’s good,” replied George, “but my day is better now that you’re here.”
John smiled and sat down. “I’m so glad to be home from my trip. My days are so much longer without you here.”
George smiled and walked up to John. He cradled the curls of his wig and placed his hand on John’s cheek. “Oh John,” he said, “I would chop down a thousand cherry trees for you.”
John’s whole face lit up like a fireworks display on July 4 (George’s favorite holiday). “George,” he said, “how about we make sweet love by candlelight and afterwards I’ll read you the Declaration of Independence?”
George blushed and nodded happily. “There’s no one I’d rather celebrate freedom, liberation, and fireworks with.”
Kelsey Perkins is a student at Emerson College currently pursing her B.A. in Writing, Literature, and Publishing. She swears she is not a bad writer.
Dorothy Damage is a London-based feminist zinester rediscovering her love of drawing fanart and paper dolls. When not doodling, she can be found baking cakes, traversing space and time, and astounding those around her with feats of nerditude. Visit her poor neglected blog and follow her art portfolio, and she might send you a cookie! But probably not.
Chris R is a voice over artist that has been drinking coffee since the age of 2. He has his own studio where he narrates audiobooks and does TV and radio spots as well. And…..Did he mention he loves coffee?