There are few things better than when Ma$e and Puffy used to collaborate in shiny suits. But much like them, “can’t nobody hold me down,” especially in relation to the good things in life.
But my latest creation is better than Ma$e and Puff. It’s better than everything. I don’t know if good things existed before this. Good things didn’t exist before this
BOW TO ME, INTERNET
Filed under Animals, cats, pets, pizza, religion, the interwebz, Uncategorized
To help you get through your day here is a sound recording of Liono’s unbelievably loud snoring.
Now everyone feels better.
Our boss is less than pleased about Corey’s snide remarks. We’ve been telling her it’s out of our hands – Corey has a mind of his own. And it’s filled with bitchy retorts
It’s not a secret that I like to wear costumes. During times that it’s probably inappropriate to wear costumes:
because it was Tuesday and I needed to go grocery shopping
But it’s no fun to dress up alone. Sometimes you need a companion
I have an idea who I might ask to dress up with me
And most of the time I feel like Liono enjoys it
But I might have crossed a line. Because I was recently here and purchased something:
cats love it
And if I love one thing more than cats, it’s unicorns. And a unicorn-cat named Liono seemed like a dream come true. So I went for it:
There is a decline in happiness
this isn’t the face of a cat loving it
this is the face of a cat that’s completely given up on anything good or fair in this world
Maybe I should stop dressing Liono up, for both of our mental and emotional health.
I am used to being followed by a passel of cats like a crazy cat lady. But I have new visitors that have proven their dedication to being with me. Always
It is interesting to me that creatures that are meant to be less intelligent than me have better survival skills
Just like the evil character in that video game Fables, I am surrounded by flies. Flies with great instincts. Welcome home, little buddies.
I am a You life of discerning tastes. And when it comes to decorating my abode I like to pick only the most special of prized finds to accompany the dust bunnies and tumbleweeds of cat hair
scientific illustration of cat tumbleweeds
So when I saw this, I knew it had to come live with me, and that weird mold that has started growing in my refrigerator, immediately.
A flying cat/dog with a basketball on its ass
Welcome home.
It shouldn’t be surprising, but it seems that with unemployment I have become considerably lazier than recent memory recalls. With getting laid off I’ve noticed that it has opened up a world of possibilities, such as more time to shower but also less impetus to get out of bed.
Also, re-making Dre’s 2001: The Chronic to make it cat friendly for my kits:
hey-eh-eh-ay catnip everyday
But I’ve been neglecting more than just my personal hygiene and commitment to sanity. I’ve neglected skillet
It seems as though when I was making skillet work double duty as a pasta-maker, I didn’t consider that the noxious combination of pasta water and the bottom of the balsa wood VHS organizer would create something considerably unholy.
this is the tool I use to steam pasta in a cast iron skillet
This is what the bottom looked like after I steamed the pasta:
that ring was not an original feature of the organizer
And this what happened after letting the fumes, and poison, and remnants of pasta that I couldn’t fish out percolate for about a week (read: a month):
Sweet mother of God
It gets worse:
It’s my very own version of the Origin of Species. But, ya know, in my kitchen
When the mold started I did what any person would do.
I put the VHS organizer back on top of the skillet so as not to deal with it.
Until today. Now the little community of, what can only be evil and villainous, mold can live free in the skillet for all of eternity.
In my trash.
But I played Taps while heaving it into the dumpster.
Filed under apartment, cats, cooking, food, horrifying, music, pets, science! technology!
It’s a very special day in a young woman’s life when she gets to explain to people that the black eye that she is sporting is because an overweight cat jumped on her face while she was sleeping.
This will make the boys come a-runnin’
I would love to claim that this was the first time that I was bruised because of my cat. But, of course, that wouldn’t be true.
And I would be lying if I didn’t say I was mildly concerned about what Liono’s actual motives are these days.
I’m coming for you
You life is not so great 