Tag Archives: pizza

Love me like you do

what're you waiting for?

what’re you waiting for?

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Better than that song that Ma$e and Puff Daddy did

There are few things better than when Ma$e and Puffy used to collaborate in shiny suits. But much like them, “can’t nobody hold me down,” especially in relation to the good things in life.

But my latest creation is better than Ma$e and Puff. It’s better than everything. I don’t know if good things existed before this. Good things didn’t exist before this 

the greatest thing in the world

BOW TO ME, INTERNET

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I’m not looking for a pizza that will last/ I know what I need and I need a pizza fast

I think it was Marvin Gaye that once sang: “Don’t you know how sweet and wonderful life can be?/ I’m asking you, pizza, to get it on with me”

photo(8)

 

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Take Another Little Pizza My Heart Now Baby

It’s your feelings, it’s my feelings, it’s pizza feelings

pizza feelings

(PS: I’m not funny enough to have come up with that title, credit for that goes to Kevin )

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Things Pizzas Do We Love

I’ve already discussed my absolute new obsession with this amazingly hilarious tumblr highlighting the “things boys do we love.” And because I think the universe knew that I couldn’t just stop with one pizza-photo-feeling, it delivered me the gift of an incredibly spiritual pizza. Because, on a visceral level, I think collectively everyone can agree that there are much more photo opportunities for “things pizzas do we love,” than boys. So I bring you MORE feelings made easy with photos & words, or “pizza feelings.” (or “things pizzas do we love”).

Jesus and I are on the same page when it comes to pizza

Jesus and I are on the same page when it comes to pizza

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Feelings made easy with photos & words

Do you remember the trends in the 90s when it came to advancing technology? It was, like, AIM and chat rooms for years. I never really had to keep up outside of discussing the various benefits of having Stone Cold Steve Austen on your side in a tag team match on the WWF chat room (fuck you, I was 13), or keeping my away messages current.

I miss you, too

I miss you, too

Now there is too much for me to keep up with. Trends on the internet are insane. Recently I went on Tumblr and discovered something that, seemingly, has been going on forever without my notice. Something that I find heartening. Something extremely encouraging for someone as emotionally stunted as myself.

Words helping you express...I'm not exactly sure

Words helping you express…I’m not exactly sure

Source

As it turns out you can start expressing the expressionless sentiment by just adding some random phrases onto a photo. I don’t really even think the photo matters.

In an effort to better articulate my emotions I tried it myself:

it's all in the white text

it’s all in the white text

And as I got caught in a wormhole of this trend, I discovered that it can even be applied to what you find attractive in the gender of your choice. There are entire sites dedicated to it!

I just...really?

I just…really?

Source

In my effort to expand this white text on photographic background expressing our emotions (sort of?) I wanted to ensure that there are people similar to myself who are represented by white text in front of random photo.

For all us bleeding with white-text based feelings, this is for you:
pizza the hut

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The conversation that created a lifetime of laughter (for me)

There are times I get down about the calamities I’ve created, which I’ll sometimes refer to as “life.” And since the world revolves around me and my happiness, I’ve had to find satisfying ways to bring joy back in my life during the times when things get dark (like when I had to spend a shocking twenty minutes today looking for my shoe’s mate).

I’ve documented a previous way here

And barring that this’ll bring a great big smile to my face:

Ah, pizza pictures. They prep me for my return to home and pizza consumption

Ah, pizza pictures. They prep me for my return to home and pizza consumption

Then there is watching Katherine Heigl’s charming shenanigans on loop like 27 Dresses carries the secrets to the mysteries of the Bible.

but doesn't it though?

but doesn’t it though?

But sometimes, no matter how many slices of pizza you look at or how many Katherine Heigl rom-coms you watch (I also suggest the one with Gerard Butler where he’s a dick but she falls for him anyway cause underneath he’s just a big softie. That one is great too), the sun refuses to shine on you.

When I get that blue I like to conjure up a conversation that one day I was lucky enough to overhear. While indulging in my pretention at the local coffee shop, a pair of new-agey hippies sat next to me in the middle of a huge problem. Catastrophic.

The deal was that one of them had a date that night with a fellow she really liked and wanted to have sex with BUT she was on her period (DA DUM DUM!). And following this confession, the greatest advice I ever fucking heard was dispensed:

“I would really like to sleep with him but I’m on my period right now” – wept one hippie

“I heard from a friend that if you sit naked in the desert for an hour or so it’ll make your period go away.”

IF YOU SIT NAKED IN THE DESERT…YOUR PERIOD WILL GO AWAY.

This is unquestionably the best thing I’ve ever heard. I can’t even imagine what the other woman did with that information. Drive around the suburbs of Philadelphia looking for a patch of dirt to sit naked in for several hours until menstruation ceased?

side note: it looks like she's mediating on, like, Tatooine

side note: it looks like she’s mediating on, like, Tatooine

Thank you for the eternal laughter, ladies. Happy menstruating!

 

 

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Filed under celebrities, doodles, hilarious, horrifying, movies, Philadelphia