I haven’t written anything since the year changed, but I’m kind of lazy and tired right now. So here is a picture of a seagull with a penis that I snapchatted to someone a few days ago. Happy New Year.
Category Archives: Animals
It’s the best day of the year for me.
In consideration of this celebration, I’ve compiled several resources to help you and your feline friend get the most out of your day:
The mighty Liono’s history is a mysterious one. And part of that mystery is how a former farm cat came into such wimpy vocal chords.
Behold the mighty and mightily pathetic roar of a imploring feline desperate to make friends with the maintenance man outside:
There are few things better than when Ma$e and Puffy used to collaborate in shiny suits. But much like them, “can’t nobody hold me down,” especially in relation to the good things in life.
But my latest creation is better than Ma$e and Puff. It’s better than everything.
I don’t know if good things existed before this. Good things didn’t exist before this
A few years ago I was on the phone with my mom and was telling her about my weekend plans and she responded with this direct (and haunting) quote:
You’ve got your cats and your knitting…sounds like you’re really clickin’ your heels over there in Philadelphia.
So…I tried to brush that off, but upon some re-inspection I might have to reevaluate all of my life choices, and drink a bottle [box] of wine, and cry while shout-singing “Part of Your World” to my feline companions.
I’m ready to know what the people know!!!!!!
Jurassic Snark will never be the same. Rest in Peace, Richard Attenborough, and like you said in your infinite wisdom: All major theme parks have delays
At first I was willing to deal with the office monster in extremely good humor. See ? I even came to the defense of the fridge monster because 1. That note was written by the hand of someone who gives too much of a fuck 2. Because fridge monster at that point had eaten two containers of hummus I left in there and I wasn’t really that bothered because 3. I used to be the fridge monster at my last job
But since I wrote my hilarious response to office bastardry, and I thought I had sorted out some solidarity with hungry co-worker and fellow thief; fridge monster seems to have taken sole and exclusive comfort in my lunch bag. With extreme consumption prejudice – they ate my leftovers. I’ve retaliated.
I don’t even know myself anymore. The hunted has become the hunter.