I’m turning 33 tomorrow (Rejoice!Rejoice! Emmanuel) and that fact is a true surprise to us all, especially my friends that have had a death poll on me since I was 22.
BUT I’M STILL HERE:
And as such I’m making difficult choices as I extend my birthday from one day (tomorrow, the year of our Lord and the start of my Jesus birthday, August 16th) to three days starting today. Such as, which ice cream sundae do I eat today?
And since 33 is gonna be the year where I petition for help in all the right places, I fielded out this decision to other people:
I’m a motherfucking Jesus-aged lady (almost) and I’m gonna order both fucking sundaes today.
It’s not a secret that I like to wear costumes. During times that it’s probably inappropriate to wear costumes:
because it was Tuesday and I needed to go grocery shopping
But it’s no fun to dress up alone. Sometimes you need a companion
I have an idea who I might ask to dress up with me
And most of the time I feel like Liono enjoys it
But I might have crossed a line. Because I was recently here and purchased something:
cats love it
And if I love one thing more than cats, it’s unicorns. And a unicorn-cat named Liono seemed like a dream come true. So I went for it:
There is a decline in happiness
this isn’t the face of a cat loving it
this is the face of a cat that’s completely given up on anything good or fair in this world
Maybe I should stop dressing Liono up, for both of our mental and emotional health.
Sorry for the lapse in updating. Not to fear. I’ve been up to my normal antics.
Such as turning this:
And it’s you, and me, and the screwnacorn makes three tonight
(yes, that was a Cherry Poppin Daddies references – say something, I dare you)
This is what castration probably feels like.
Goodbye, corkscrewnacorn, you lived a noble life and died a nobler death at the hands of $5 wine.
Filed under unicorns, wine
It’s high time for an anniversary edition of You Life, but since this just occurred to me and I missed the date by four months I guess this is just a retrospect.
You Life started with an instructional guide on how to devastate some PBRs and then paint a kitchen table. Memories
And to celebrate that momentous occasion in the old apartment I’ve unearthed some gems
That is an omnipresent specter presiding over the battle of zombies vs unicorns
The glory that was the kitchen – with the masterpiece center stage
A better view of the unicorn side, before the 6th grade notebook tagging joined the battle
Clear view of the zombie side. That zombie has a bloody unicorn tail in his palm
But I feel strongly that the unicorns prevailed
Happy anniversary, You Life!