Tag Archives: wine

The destructive return of You Life

Sorry for the lapse in updating. Not to fear. I’ve been up to my normal antics.

Such as turning this:

And it's you, and me, and the screwnacorn makes three tonight

And it’s you, and me, and the screwnacorn makes three tonight

(yes, that was a Cherry Poppin Daddies references – say something, I dare you)

Into:

a castrated sadacorn

a sadacorn

This is what castration probably feels like.

Goodbye, corkscrewnacorn, you lived a noble life and died a nobler death at the hands of $5 wine.

 

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Filed under unicorns, wine

It is our mighty banner under which we fly:

you're never drinking alone

This is a universal truth.

 

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Filed under Animals, art, cats, doodles, friends, wine, work

Caught in a bad romance – with myself.

Sometimes a lady just needs to reward herself for a Tuesday well-done. It’s extremely important to romance one’s self, and, at “You Life,” self-romancing is done right.

The first rule of self-congratulations is treat yourself to your favorite dinner. So, after work, I set off to get my absolute favorite Tuesday meal:

Tuesday night: the perfect night for a lemon meringue doughnut and five dollar wine.

The best thing about being an adult is that I can drink my calories and pretend that it is a fancy enjoyment by coupling it with an overpriced doughnut!

However, no matter how hard you work, there is always someone that wants to keep you down, take advantage of your generosity, and shit all over your night of pampering.

George. It was George that wanted to shit all over my night of self-romancing.

What happened was that, in my wine-provoked state of liberality, I gave George a taste of his favorite treat. This mofo LOVES doughnuts. The first picture was of him lovingly tasting the meringue. The second picture was going to be of me enjoying the doughnut; instead, it turned into a candid of George trying to hit me in the face to get the rest of the sweets. And, since I suffered the face battery, he won.

That ended the meal portion of the night. Undeterred, I moved onto other self-spoiling activities, like lighting candles and setting up a hot bath to enjoy.

This is how I have to prepare for a bath:
Put the stopper in.

in case you can’t tell, that is a shot glass

Fill with hot water.

That is a tea kettle filled with hot water since I only get an average of three minutes of hot water, which generally is enough time to fill my tub with less than two inches of mostly tepid water

After a fruitless fifteen minute search for candles to put around the tub, I soaked my work-exhausted limbs in the luke-warm water…

...until Liono jumped into the bathtub shortly after this picture was snapped

That pretty much ended the whole night.

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Filed under cats, food, romance, wine