Category Archives: birthday

I don’t know about you but I’m feeling…33

I’m turning 33 tomorrow (Rejoice!Rejoice! Emmanuel) and that fact is a true surprise to us all, especially my friends that have had a death poll on me since I was 22.

BUT I’M STILL HERE:
birthday collage

And as such I’m making difficult choices as I extend my birthday from one day (tomorrow, the year of our Lord and the start of my Jesus birthday, August 16th) to three days starting today. Such as, which ice cream sundae do I eat today?

sundaes

And since 33 is gonna be the year where I petition for help in all the right places, I fielded out this decision to other people:
you life 33

I’m a motherfucking Jesus-aged lady (almost) and I’m gonna order both fucking sundaes today.

yes

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Filed under birthday, friends, unicorns

Another day, yet also another year of writing You Life

I am an old person today. And to remind me where my priorities have laid for the last many years, my best friend emailed me to remind me about friendship and love:

Ahh yes, it's you my old friend

Ahh yes, it’s you my old friend

And again, see you later on tonight Jack Daniel’s.

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Filed under birthday, Booze, Holidays

How I defend myself

It should come as no surprise, give my penchant for Napoleon complex like antics, that I am short. Super short. Really fucking small.

five foot shawty assassin

 

And when you are this damn small, with a habit to get into so much trouble, it’s essential that you learn how to defend yourself when the going gets hostile. My method, since childhood, has been emulation of the moves of professional wrestlers.

I’ve been to two professional wrestling events since my childhood – I wish this was a joke, but that is a Bret Hart shirt from the Holiday Hell Tour in the early 90s. Eat it hipsters and long for my un-ironic ironic WWF swag

 

So, if you are feeling, say, threatened on your birthday, what should you do? Um…the Million Dollar Dream. Obviously. And you should do this after drinking several pints of home brew outside of bar- unwashed, following a Kool & the Gang sing-a-long.

Get your back up off the wall, do wrestling moves, come on!

Now you can defend yourself!

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Filed under beer, birthday, Booze, friends, Philadelphia

A birthday You Life

It’s my birthday, and someone very special wants to celebrate with me.

Jack Daniel’s wants to celebrate with me.  Welcome to adulthood, where a liquor company is who wants to celebrate the anniversary of your birth. I’ll see you later tonight, Jack!

Happy You Life!

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Filed under birthday, Booze