Tag Archives: vending machine

The robots are sick of your bull

It’s a hostile world when the vending machines stop upholding their side of the bargain. I heard somewhere from something online that crazy scientists are creating smarter robots. But I’d venture to say that they’re already smart enough and that this is a rise of the proletariat sort of situation that we have on our hands.

Beware of the vending machine

Beware of the vending machine

I’d consider raising the vending machine’s salary and giving it benefits before it responds with greater prejudice.

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Filed under comics, doodles, robots, science! technology!

What a hateful vending machine

The best notes are passive aggressive notes at the work place. There is a secret thrill letting someone know how much you disapprove of their behavior. It must be doubly so when you address that disapproval to an inanimate object (sort of animate object? I mean…a vending machine does move, there’s some animation involved).

Let’s investigate

I WANT MY DOLLAR, VENDING MACHINE!

I WANT MY DOLLAR, VENDING MACHINE!

I would like to yell at the vending machine too, my concern and hatred regarding the robot apocalypse is well documented

spoiler alert - I don't actually have an extension. Because I don't have a phone

spoiler alert – I don’t actually have an extension. Because I don’t have a phone

Hating machines together, in perfect harmony
photo (10)

Never let the machines win.

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Filed under letters, robots, science! technology!, work

Anything that’s not nailed to the ground

From my very limited understanding of history, the last days of Rome were a rough place to be: hedonism, theft, moral malaise. And while I gathered these opinions about the civilization’s decline following a less than five minute Google search, I can confidently say that my declining juncture at my job is probably similar.

Or maybe not. But I am stealing everything that isn’t nailed to the ground. The most eccentric theft to date pertains to my aggressive love of hot sauce.

Some nice person left out a communal hot sauce for the lunch room, and while I appreciate the spirit of generosity I more greatly appreciate free condiments. However, I couldn’t just take the bottle of hot sauce in broad (albeit florescent) daylight. So, I did what every crazy person would do.

I dumped half the bottle of hot sauce into the remains of a Herr's pretzel  bag

I dumped half the bottle of hot sauce into the remains of a Herr’s pretzel bag

And my lunch then consisted of:

it consisted of pretzels, a bag of stolen hot sauce, and - what the hell - I stole a packet of cream cheese for the fun of it

it consisted of pretzels, a bag of stolen hot sauce in an old pretzel bag, and – what the hell – I stole a packet of cream cheese for the fun of it

Next up: trying to thieve the vending machine.

 

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