(white) Gods of Egypt

I heard Gods of Egypt bombed at the theaters, which is a pleasure and a joy to hear. I think that imagining Egypt as a land ruled by almost exclusively white Gods is maybe the funniest thing I’ve heard of in a really long fucking time. It begs the eternal question: have Egyptians always worshiped Gerard Butler?

gerard butler

Right?

I can’t imagine why this movie did so horrendously in the theaters. Could it be because it stars mostly blinding white actors in a movie that takes place in Egypt? Which is in Africa? I mean…that doesn’t make sense. Who WOULDN’T want to see another revisionist fantasy starring Gerard Butler and Geoffrey Rush?

Maybe it’s the movie’s film posters?

gerard butler

In every single poster for this movie “Egypt” looks to be on fire

To help the film’s cause I created some alternate posters for them to use. I hope this helps balance out the whooping disparity on how much this film has made so far versus how much it cost to make it:

look at this blah blah blah

LOOK AT THIS EGYPT LAND

and:

who even cares

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