Albeit a bit late, but this installment of fan fiction of failure is sure to ruin your 90s childhood. You Life is Not So Great is proud to present:
It’s a rare condition, this day and age, to read any good news on the newspaper page.
by: Eric Z
voiced by: Joanna
art by: the Law Offices of Van Noss
Carl collapsed into his seat. His hands trembled as he smoothed the front of his blue police uniform. Eddie, seated adjacent, offered a food-garbled “Dad” and a nod between bites.
“What’s for dinner?” Carl asked, ignoring his son.
Harriette transferred the burned contents from a pan on the battered range to a Corningware plate.
“Nice to see you too,” she said putting the plate down in front of her husband.
Carl drew a deep breath.
“A little boy got killed today, Harriette. Seven fucking years old.” Carl’s voice wavered. “Dead on his way to school.”
Without warning, the backdoor flew open. A shelf of knickknacks fell to the counter in its wake, all but a few breaking.
“Did I do that?” Steve said in mock surprise.
Carl was silent as he left the kitchen. His dinner remained untouched on the table long after Winslow family went to bed.
Eric Z is best known for his contributions to such periodicals as Modern Dad Magazine: A Magazine for Modern Dads and Dad Fancy: A Fancy Dad’s Guide to Modern Living. He collects Fabergé egg and sometimes remembers his grandmother’s birthday (Editors Note: October 17..er…18…sometime in mid-October). Mr. Z coined the phrase “I live my life a quarter mile at a time” and fuck you for saying differently. You can sort of find more of his stuff at Reel 9 Productions
Joanna has the voice of an angel and is cooler than you (You Life is Not So Great took some liberties writing her bio)
The Law Offices of Van Noss
² – the popular mantalope – is not allowed to play D&D anymore