I just can’t quit you, so you fired me

It’s the final week of working at my job after getting the lay off notice six months ago. In efforts to appear supportive, the team that is replacing us sent us a gigantic fucking card thanking us…for our jobs. Which are now their jobs.

To paraphrase a co-worker, how dare they use cats to further their agenda?

To paraphrase a co-worker, how dare they use cats to further their agenda?

But then those Canadian bastards raised the bar on emotional (and…in a way physical) manipulation.

They collaborated with a bakery in Philadelphia to send us all fancy cupcakes

which I handled with my typical self-restraint. I took two and am circling the remainder of them like a shark around a wounded seal

which I handled with my typical self-restraint. I took two and am circling the remainder of them like a shark around a wounded seal

My heart melted.

Until I of course remembered that with a paycheck I could just buy my own damn cupcakes. I will not be satiated by a gift of fancy cupcakes (physically yes, and to a degree emotionally, but not monetarily).  I know your tricks, Canada

Take to the internet
blame canada revenge
blame canada revenge 2

Listen up, Canada, I’m coming for you. And when I say “you” I mean:

 

Real Canadian heroes

Real Canadian heroes


Actually, I’m just going to take another cupcake and curse you. 

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Filed under broke, cats, food, letters, work

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