It’s the final week of working at my job after getting the lay off notice six months ago. In efforts to appear supportive, the team that is replacing us sent us a gigantic fucking card thanking us…for our jobs. Which are now their jobs.
To paraphrase a co-worker, how dare they use cats to further their agenda?
But then those Canadian bastards raised the bar on emotional (and…in a way physical) manipulation.
They collaborated with a bakery in Philadelphia to send us all fancy cupcakes
which I handled with my typical self-restraint. I took two and am circling the remainder of them like a shark around a wounded seal
My heart melted.
Until I of course remembered that with a paycheck I could just buy my own damn cupcakes. I will not be satiated by a gift of fancy cupcakes (physically yes, and to a degree emotionally, but not monetarily). I know your tricks, Canada
Take to the internet
Listen up, Canada, I’m coming for you. And when I say “you” I mean:
Real Canadian heroes
Actually, I’m just going to take another cupcake and curse you.
You life is not so great 