It’s the final week of working at my job after getting the lay off notice six months ago. In efforts to appear supportive, the team that is replacing us sent us a gigantic fucking card thanking us…for our jobs. Which are now their jobs.
But then those Canadian bastards raised the bar on emotional (and…in a way physical) manipulation.
They collaborated with a bakery in Philadelphia to send us all fancy cupcakes
My heart melted.
Until I of course remembered that with a paycheck I could just buy my own damn cupcakes. I will not be satiated by a gift of fancy cupcakes (physically yes, and to a degree emotionally, but not monetarily). I know your tricks, Canada
Listen up, Canada, I’m coming for you. And when I say “you” I mean:
Actually, I’m just going to take another cupcake and curse you.