Tag Archives: garbage

Halloween haunting, the You Life edition

Since funemployment, I recently moved out of the delightful shitbox that I formerly called, “home.” It was a hard readjustment and a tearful farewell to all of the things I had gotten so used to: no heat, questionable fire safety, a garbage fridge. But, I have new things to look forward to now. One of these things I was affectionately referring to as “homeless’ing,” where I would delight in staying on friends’ couches.

Since I am the luckiest of ladies, two of my friends granted me a headquarters where I might unpack my cat knickknacks on a less transient basis.

But just like bad credit and scabies follows a person, I have a very special spectral visitor.

What's that?!

What’s that?!

No. It can’t be. There is no possible way that this can what I think it is. Because what I think it is a misplaced crock pot filled with poisonous old food. I remember something like this; something dark, and evil, and filled with some sort of chili…

No!

No!

My trash-fridge is my own personal version of a Stephen King novel. Because upon closer inspection it seems like trash-fridge chili is following me. Haunting me…

Oh come on

Oh come on

I might have created a sentient being in trash-fridge. And I feel like I’m not paranoid in saying that the ghost of it is trying to murder me. IT’S THE CHILI OF THE UNDEAD!

Happy Halloween, all!

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Filed under apartment, cooking, food, Holidays, horrifying, science! technology!, zombies

The fridge part II: Electric boogaloo (no, there might be something in there that is a conduit for electrical currents)

A while ago I had shared a picture of the inside of my fridge, stocked with the essentials. I would hyperlink to that entry, but I don’t know how and I don’t feel like looking it up. Essentially it was a sad picture of an empty fridge with a tall boy in it; look through the posts: it was quality stuff.

Let’s re-visit the once empty fridge, brimming with the potential to be filled…

…With garbage.

I don’t really know the genesis of the garbage fridge, though I believe it started inauspiciously enough. Perhaps I had some leftover pizza that I kept in the box and would pull out slice by slice, until the only thing left was an empty box. And then, of course, I am massively busy working a soul sucking job and memorizing the “rap” part of Spice Girls’ Wannabe


Slam your body down and wind it all around!

I am way too busy to say, buy a garbage can.

who needs one? I have a fridge?

Like most things in my life that spiral wildly out of control, I would make myself daily promises. “Today I will clean out my fridge.” “Today I will buy a garbage can.” “Today I will pay off my creditors.” However, as day slowly ebbs into night, thoughts would change to things like, “if I leave the remains of this microwave dinner on the counter the cats will get it…I’ll temporarily put it in the fridge.”

And then a slow evolution occurs wherein the fridge becomes a warzone of garbage; where do I put actual food? However, a fun game also occurs.

I like to call it, “what did I use to be?”

Who knows?!

According to the sell by date, this just celebrated its sixth month birthday. Happy birthday, baby, oh the places you’ll go!

Trying to fight the tides of the fridge garbage seems as futile as, say, trying to get the earth to change its rotation. Meaning, it might happen one day, but that will only be because the mold taking over the inside will become sentient and want a change of scenery. Who knows? I might be housing the future creatures to roam this world after the robot apocalypse renders humans obsolete.

 

I would start leaving sacrifices to the fridge if I were you…

 

 


 

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Filed under food, horrifying

The opportunity to be whatever I like!

No garbage can is safe from me. People throw away a shocking amount of very cool things. While I don’t endlessly route around in pails of garbage, rifling through old food and cat liter, I have been known to dumpster dive from time to time. And, often times, I find freaking awesome things.

Even more importantly, when people come over to my apartment they are stunned to see some of my, perceived, achievements. This week I have been gifted the ability to, now, be a champion bowler. Go ME! Go GARBAGE!

Hidden talents!

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Filed under Dumpster diving, going green, Uncategorized