Category Archives: beer

Cooking and clarifications.

Like most bloggers I have a Zen for cooking and the finer things. Becoming a foodie was one of my aspirations when I turned twenty-three. As it turns out, there are certain things that a foodie needs: mainly food and kitchen appliances. So, when I search through my kitchen cupboard now at the age of twenty-seven, I discover that it has become a graveyard for old cartons of food: the wrappers of Twinkies and ancient boxes of Tastykake’s Kandy Kakes.

The moral of this story is that I don’t have much in the way of food or kitchen appliances. But never fear! You can make delicious tasty treats without the aid of fancy kitchen appliances. A person doesn’t need a dehydrator, iron skillet, blender, or even forks to make a wonderful meal.
That brings us to the picture on my header.


Those up there are the most delicious mashed potatoes that the East Coast has to offer. And what’s the best part? I didn’t use a masher. Why? I don’t have one because I believe it is a frivolous waste of money in these trying economic times. Instead, I spent masher money on a delicious craft beer in the style of George Washington’s porter. Then, I used the bottle to mash the potatoes. GW would have been so proud to see my industrious spirit in the face of adversity, just like during the Revolution. (You will see in the background that my friend was making his own mashed potatoes using a potato masher. He chose those because he is a British loyalist that only appreciates colonialism and hatred).

Leave a comment

Filed under beer, cooking

How to make an ashtray

Here is a really quick craft project that will only take a few moments to create. I call it “how to make an ashtray.”

Step 1: Go to the store. I like to go to a deli that is close to my apartment, the proximity is key seeing as how I don’t own a car, don’t have a license, and don’t know how to drive.

Step 2: Purchase a forty. I like Colt 45, but Mickey’s is especially dear to me. Also, Hurricane is good.

Step 3: Go home and drink the forty.

Step 4: Get cigarettes. I am smoking Pall Mall Lights because I used to smoke Parliament Lights and Pall Mall Lights are like Parliaments for poor people.

Step 5: Light cigarette. I used a barbecue lighter because I don’t know where my actual lighters or matches went. You can also use the stove or toaster.

Step 6: Flick ash into empty forty.

Congratulations! You just made your very own ashtray!

2 Comments

Filed under beer, crafts