Monthly Archives: August 2014

August 28, 2014 · 12:42 pm

“Fan” Fiction

A delightfully puntacular fan fiction, the first one ever submitted to me, by your friend and mine: the talented Dave Terruso.

Words: “Fan” Fiction – Dave
Pictures: Law Offices of Van Noss & Van Noss
Sound: Dave part 2, electric boogaloo


dakota fanningBios:

Dave Terruso: is a host at Helium Comedy Club. He has opened for acts including Richard Lewis, Gilbert Gottfried, Charlie Murphy, Chris Hardwick, and Tim Meadows.
He is the co-founder of Philly Sketchfest, a national sketch comedy festival going into its seventh year.
Dave’s sketch comedy duo Animosity Pierre was an official selection of the 2010 San Francisco Sketchfest and the 2010 Chicago Sketchfest. His sketch comedy has been lauded by TIME Magazine.
Dave’s first novel, a dark-comic murder mystery called Cube Sleuth, is available at Amazon.com.

The Law Offices of Van Noss ²:’s attempt to remove “the incident” from his record was overturned by an appellate court.

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August 25, 2014 · 3:10 pm

A very special Jurassic Snark with Corey Albertson

What's the point of a tomorrow when John Hammond can't be here today?

What’s the point of a tomorrow when John Hammond can’t be here today?

Jurassic Snark will never be the same. Rest in Peace, Richard Attenborough, and like you said in your infinite wisdom: All major theme parks have delays

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August 18, 2014 · 1:30 pm

The Art of Conversation

how to have a conversation with me

if you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my cats

As much as I’d love to hear about your Mike and the Mechanics like relationship with your father, I’d prefer to just put on “In the Living Years,” if I wanted to hear about your childhood. Less you. More cats.

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August 4, 2014 · 6:52 pm

One is the Deadliest Number

What a great way to start August – with a fan fiction of failure. This one truly speaks to the dickish nature of a smug Fred Jones. For your listening pleasure:

One is the Deadliest Number
VO by Joanna
story by You Life
art by the Law Offices of Van Noss²

photo(10)

Daphne’s hand tightened around the handle, the blade hidden behind her back.

“Jinkies!…you feeling alright?” Velma’s hesitant voice echoed down the hall.

She cleared her throat trying to sound calm, “Totally Velm. Just…just looking for that over-sized magnifying glass.”

“Oh okay. Shaggy and I are going to take Scoobs out for a walk. That might make you feel better.”

Damn that Fred! Everyone knew.

“Thanks, maybe later.”

She waited till Velma walked away. That cravat wearing mother fucker must have told everyone about them before she got up.

“I like you Daphne. It’s just that I need someone smarter than you.”

No one uses Daphne Danger and gets away with it. Who needs brains when you have a blade?

The poster of Tesla outside Fred’s door infuriated Daphne. She knocked her fist against the scientist’s judge-y face. Fred opened the door and Daphne greeted him with the business end of her knife.

Meaning she killed him.

Bios
Joanna is a vocal goddess
Van Noss is a grumpy mantalope

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