Based upon a debate with my friends on what character in Star Wars we would be, it became more and more obvious that we wouldn’t be any of the exciting big name characters .
We’d be more like this:
we wouldn’t have made it past “A New Hope.”
Category Archives: science! technology!
Halloween haunting, the You Life edition
Since funemployment, I recently moved out of the delightful shitbox that I formerly called, “home.” It was a hard readjustment and a tearful farewell to all of the things I had gotten so used to: no heat, questionable fire safety, a garbage fridge. But, I have new things to look forward to now. One of these things I was affectionately referring to as “homeless’ing,” where I would delight in staying on friends’ couches.
Since I am the luckiest of ladies, two of my friends granted me a headquarters where I might unpack my cat knickknacks on a less transient basis.
But just like bad credit and scabies follows a person, I have a very special spectral visitor.
What’s that?!
No. It can’t be. There is no possible way that this can what I think it is. Because what I think it is a misplaced crock pot filled with poisonous old food. I remember something like this; something dark, and evil, and filled with some sort of chili…
No!
My trash-fridge is my own personal version of a Stephen King novel. Because upon closer inspection it seems like trash-fridge chili is following me. Haunting me…
Oh come on
I might have created a sentient being in trash-fridge. And I feel like I’m not paranoid in saying that the ghost of it is trying to murder me. IT’S THE CHILI OF THE UNDEAD!
Happy Halloween, all!
Filed under apartment, cooking, food, Holidays, horrifying, science! technology!, zombies
The brave death of the skillet
It shouldn’t be surprising, but it seems that with unemployment I have become considerably lazier than recent memory recalls. With getting laid off I’ve noticed that it has opened up a world of possibilities, such as more time to shower but also less impetus to get out of bed.
Also, re-making Dre’s 2001: The Chronic to make it cat friendly for my kits:
hey-eh-eh-ay catnip everyday
But I’ve been neglecting more than just my personal hygiene and commitment to sanity. I’ve neglected skillet
It seems as though when I was making skillet work double duty as a pasta-maker, I didn’t consider that the noxious combination of pasta water and the bottom of the balsa wood VHS organizer would create something considerably unholy.
this is the tool I use to steam pasta in a cast iron skillet
This is what the bottom looked like after I steamed the pasta:
that ring was not an original feature of the organizer
And this what happened after letting the fumes, and poison, and remnants of pasta that I couldn’t fish out percolate for about a week (read: a month):
Sweet mother of God
It gets worse:
It’s my very own version of the Origin of Species. But, ya know, in my kitchen
When the mold started I did what any person would do.
I put the VHS organizer back on top of the skillet so as not to deal with it.
Until today. Now the little community of, what can only be evil and villainous, mold can live free in the skillet for all of eternity.
In my trash.
But I played Taps while heaving it into the dumpster.
Filed under apartment, cats, cooking, food, horrifying, music, pets, science! technology!
One pan to rule them all. And in my apartment fry them.
I only own one kitchen appliance. It’s a skillet. It’s made of iron. It’s so large that it could cook me.
leg of lady is on the menu when I’m cookin’, Jack.
The only reason I haven’t thrown it away is because I am sure it could double as a weapon.
But on a rare occasion when my supper isn’t cold pizza with several Yuenglings and a couple ounces of hot sauce, I’ve been known to try and cook rice in that sucker.
But I was steaming the rice with an old VHS organizer
The end of the rice story is that the faux-wood ended up peeling off into the rice and the chemicals mixed with the grains to create a cloud in my kitchen that might have been a noxious and poisonous gas.
But at the end of the day I can still use that skillet to ward off intruders.
Filed under Booze, cooking, food, horrifying, science! technology!
My inbox is where everything awesome lives
Twitter is inherently hilarious. It’s for those that want to connect with other people, but don’t care to read more than a sentence about their life. And recently Twitter has started to email me helpful suggestions. And, oh look, Twitter is interested in suggesting some people I may know
Yes…I believe I may be familiar with his work
Thanks, Twitter.
Filed under celebrities, science! technology!
You life is not so great 