I really appreciate how Dunkin Donuts encourages their patrons to share various Dunkin-related stories. Historically it’s always worked out well for me (see here and here) and I’m glad that the organization cares so much about my welfare and general habits to inquire about #mydunkin.
My story involves being an office temp at a job where I get to watch the full-time employees enjoy perks such as the boss bringing in a cardboard gallon of Dunkin Donuts coffee for them. And after, when the full-time employees are throwing a party with a specific note on the door that says “FULL-TIME EMPLOYEES ONLY” I decided to take several of the unused Dunkin cups, go into the secret party room filled with food and paid sick leave, and filled them with mac n cheese. So I guess #mydunkin involves pilfering food and cups from my office superiors and hiding at my temporary desk while eating it.
#mydunkin arrives in my tummy through swindling and shame
I also stole the spoon
Considering that my diet consists almost exclusively of colors and numbers magically scienced into being, I find it shocking that I was ignorant of the greatest candy development of the last generation.
I had a feeling that there was a deep void in my life that needed filling (hot), and it must have been an extensional longing for this – the most glorious, and meta, of sugary creations. Finally a wise and benevolent candy angel took the time to think upon what was missing from candy. And this is what he came up with:
How could I have been so unaware of this? I was under this blind impression that candy WAS a dessert, and, fuck me, was I wrong. There is nothing more delightful and repugnant as a Skittle that somehow (through Skittle magic science) also tastes like a blueberry tart.
Thank you, Skittles. You are a kindly company looking out for the nutritionally negligent and creating great feats of candy-dessert achievements. Holy holy holy!
Filed under cooking, food
Well, I found the only food worth eating from now on
I don’t know if it’s made with rage or makes your full of rage. Either way, I’m in
I think it was Marvin Gaye that once sang: “Don’t you know how sweet and wonderful life can be?/ I’m asking you, pizza, to get it on with me”
All of my friends are running, and fitbit’ing, and learning how to cook with organic vegetables.
This is what I’m doing:
If you’re interested in the recipe it’s called “I Dare You, Heart Failure” :
* Kraft Easy Mac – Nacho Flavor
* any brand cheese puff
* an indefatigable sense of hubris
* healthy arteries
* cook Easy Mac
* fold in cheese puffs
* laugh in the face of good taste and healthy living.
Filed under cooking, food
It’s your feelings, it’s my feelings, it’s pizza feelings
(PS: I’m not funny enough to have come up with that title, credit for that goes to Kevin )
I’ve already discussed my absolute new obsession with this amazingly hilarious tumblr highlighting the “things boys do we love.” And because I think the universe knew that I couldn’t just stop with one pizza-photo-feeling, it delivered me the gift of an incredibly spiritual pizza. Because, on a visceral level, I think collectively everyone can agree that there are much more photo opportunities for “things pizzas do we love,” than boys. So I bring you MORE feelings made easy with photos & words, or “pizza feelings.” (or “things pizzas do we love”).
Jesus and I are on the same page when it comes to pizza