Tag Archives: mighty ducks

Fluvious

Since I am obviously completely incapable of kicking an illness in any sort of normal amount of human time, I have been crumpling under the weight of congestion, nausea, sore throat, and exhaustion for over a week now.

But, since I also refuse to give up the overtime availability at my job I still attended work. I say “attended” because what I did while there (other than watch Mighty Ducks) was stare my computer screen and feel sorry for myself.

However, a very kindly co-worker found a space heater for which I could heat away the chill.

But since I can’t just ethically come into work today with a fever and a disinterest in the health of my co-workers, I eventually took the time off

To spend all of it in my bathtub steaming away rivers of mucus

And after I got out of the bath the next day I noticed something. Something…horrifying.

What the Jesus is that?

Evidently while I was at work trying to heat myself out of a flu and galvanize myself into keeping my eyes open, I had pressed my feet against the space heater until I eventually gave myself superficial second degree burns.

So I did what any person would do. I lanced them with a pin. And by pin…I mean corkscrew.

It was with this exact corkscrew, actually. I am not lying. Thanks corkscrew-nacorn

And now it looks like it’s healing…

Or perhaps my foot is going to fall off

Leave a comment

Filed under horrifying, illness

What flu shot?

I look more like a consumptive child than usual today.

It’s always bad when my bangs are pulled back

Here is a brief email exchange as to why my eyes are larger than normal and I’m dressed like Small Wonder (nah, I just like dressing like Small Wonder).

> —–Original Message—–

> From: Janie
> Sent: Thursday, November 15, 2012 12:34 PM
To: Zachary
Subject: RE: We still on?

Fever – check, swollen tonsils – check, achy – check,
freezing – check

Today I was supposed to get the flu shot – I love the irony.  I feel like I am going to cry/die

And hurled the gifting of some French fries by a coworker in the middle of writing this.

Whine

Yes – read correctly, I got the flu on the day I was supposed to get the flu shot.

— On Thu, 11/15/12, Zachary  wrote
From: Zachary
Subject: RE: We still on?
To: “Janie”
Date: Thursday, November 15, 2012, 1:18 PM

I hope you feel better.  I’m pretty sure Tundy is a doctor, so confer with him forthwith

To whom is he referencing?

Only paging Dr. Liono – that’s all

From: Janie
Subject: RE: We still on?
To: “Zachary”
Date: Thursday, November 15, 2012, 1:25 PM

Poor shirt storm! I have listened to Joanna Newsom on loop and loop and felt so sorry for myself and melancholy and sick that I went into the bathroom and wept for my own self pity. As it turns out I am the worst sick person in the world, certainly the most over dramatic.

Peach, Plum, Pear is also quite sad.

And truthfully, the National didn’t help either.

But then again I also cried listening to Mighty Ducks III, which I have spelled Mighty Fucks so many times today I lost count.

But on further inspection….

My Adam Banks…how you’ve grown….

Leave a comment

Filed under Animals, cats, cranky, letters, movies, work