I have very clearly just given up on life entirely.
Tag Archives: pizza
Pizza with Cheez
Some time ago, in a land not far far away, a girl made a promise to herself to stop eating as though her fast metabolism was going to last forever.
Just a brief example of what I like to eat for breakfast. Mega Blow Pop stories to follow at a later date.
I have a great deal of trepidation that one day my Cheetos® for breakfast fare will cause me a massive coronary before the age of 30. After much speculation I decided to eat better and exercise regularly. The next day I ate a bagel with cream cheese and Cheez-It®s (see previous entry). So, I figured that maybe I would become obsessed with working out and getting a gym membership.
But so far there is only one thing I am obsessed with.
Cheez-It®
And, yes, you are seeing that correctly. It’s a pizza covered in Cheez-It®s and then doused with hot sauce.
Fuck you, health
Filed under cooking, food, horrifying, wine
Enter the psyche of my cats part II
There are certain people that you encounter in this world that you know, from the instant that you meet them, you will love forever. This love will be unconditional and have no limitations or boundaries.
It looks something like this
It looks like this, right?
I’ve yet to find that perfect Rogue and Gambit murderous/dangerous love.
But, I have a close second. And that is my cat, Liono
The bond – it is so true
In my endless string of unsuccessful human relationships, I find it encouraging that I am capable of creating such a strong connection with at least one sentient being. At some point in the near future, when industriousness reigns, I will get into how I acquired Liono
it involves me getting locked in a bathroom AND a trip to the hospital to get a roommate a spinal tap to see whether or not he was insane, or just on drugs
But until that mythical day actually happens, I will just relay the dearness and darling nature of the most charming cat in the world. Unlike the monster that is George, Liono has many loves including, but not limited to: chronic, cuddles, kisses, and tomato sauce.
And pizza
So until I can find a human being that is satisfied to sleep until two in the afternoon, and then watch and re-watch the same re-run episodes of My So-Called Life until it is drinking o’clock, I can’t be sure that anyone will be capable of replacing Liono.
and I am mostly cool with that
Filed under cats
The fridge part II: Electric boogaloo (no, there might be something in there that is a conduit for electrical currents)
A while ago I had shared a picture of the inside of my fridge, stocked with the essentials. I would hyperlink to that entry, but I don’t know how and I don’t feel like looking it up. Essentially it was a sad picture of an empty fridge with a tall boy in it; look through the posts: it was quality stuff.
Let’s re-visit the once empty fridge, brimming with the potential to be filled…
…With garbage.
I don’t really know the genesis of the garbage fridge, though I believe it started inauspiciously enough. Perhaps I had some leftover pizza that I kept in the box and would pull out slice by slice, until the only thing left was an empty box. And then, of course, I am massively busy working a soul sucking job and memorizing the “rap” part of Spice Girls’ Wannabe
Slam your body down and wind it all around!
I am way too busy to say, buy a garbage can.
who needs one? I have a fridge?
Like most things in my life that spiral wildly out of control, I would make myself daily promises. “Today I will clean out my fridge.” “Today I will buy a garbage can.” “Today I will pay off my creditors.” However, as day slowly ebbs into night, thoughts would change to things like, “if I leave the remains of this microwave dinner on the counter the cats will get it…I’ll temporarily put it in the fridge.”
And then a slow evolution occurs wherein the fridge becomes a warzone of garbage; where do I put actual food? However, a fun game also occurs.
I like to call it, “what did I use to be?”
Who knows?!
According to the sell by date, this just celebrated its sixth month birthday. Happy birthday, baby, oh the places you’ll go!
Trying to fight the tides of the fridge garbage seems as futile as, say, trying to get the earth to change its rotation. Meaning, it might happen one day, but that will only be because the mold taking over the inside will become sentient and want a change of scenery. Who knows? I might be housing the future creatures to roam this world after the robot apocalypse renders humans obsolete.
I would start leaving sacrifices to the fridge if I were you…
Filed under food, horrifying
You life is not so great 