When asked to represent ourselves on a whiteboard at work, I did so as only the most competent of employees would:
it’s a way of life
Author Archives: anotherintro
Happy end of 2013
I know how I’ll be spending it
Never forget
It was around this time last year that my beloved George was dead in a space heater box in my living room that Liono and Easy Mac ended up jumping in while I was at work and therefore solidified their absolute fear of all future boxes.
You’re welcome, George
Some people think of Christmas and conjure up memories of Santa and family and a baby in a manger. But we both know that December 25th will forever be the day that human idiocy infuriated your old ass into death.
Miss you.
And a Krampus in a pear tree
Merry Krampus
May Krampus wander the streets and terrify children with rusty chains and bells, bringing swift and beastly justice to naughty kids, during this special holiday season.
Filed under art, doodles, Holidays, horrifying
In case of emergency
Generally when I think of “in case of emergency” situations I tend to veer toward dialing 911 or screaming “fire” at the top of my lungs.
As it turns out I’ve been wrong all of these years
I guess that’s why my accidents never get solved, I haven’t been contacting the right people.
Who to turn to when the zombies attack?
There is a religion that I was unaware was so hip to zombies.
But Mormons evidently have the inside scoop to zombie-ism
Were they bitten, and then died, but then came back? Cause I have an answer
According to particular film and book canons, they absolutely can live again under certain mystical (or sometimes bio-terrorist) circumstances. Can I answer?
Oh shit! I can answer like a middle school girl with a crush on the popular kid!
I’ve seen Romero films. I know the score.
Thank you! I feel much better prepared for the coming apocalypse with this pamphlet. When the dead rise to eat our brains I’ll be ready to rumble.
Filed under literature, movies, zombies
My newest pets
I am used to being followed by a passel of cats like a crazy cat lady. But I have new visitors that have proven their dedication to being with me. Always
It is interesting to me that creatures that are meant to be less intelligent than me have better survival skills
Just like the evil character in that video game Fables, I am surrounded by flies. Flies with great instincts. Welcome home, little buddies.
Halloween haunting, the You Life edition
Since funemployment, I recently moved out of the delightful shitbox that I formerly called, “home.” It was a hard readjustment and a tearful farewell to all of the things I had gotten so used to: no heat, questionable fire safety, a garbage fridge. But, I have new things to look forward to now. One of these things I was affectionately referring to as “homeless’ing,” where I would delight in staying on friends’ couches.
Since I am the luckiest of ladies, two of my friends granted me a headquarters where I might unpack my cat knickknacks on a less transient basis.
But just like bad credit and scabies follows a person, I have a very special spectral visitor.
What’s that?!
No. It can’t be. There is no possible way that this can what I think it is. Because what I think it is a misplaced crock pot filled with poisonous old food. I remember something like this; something dark, and evil, and filled with some sort of chili…
No!
My trash-fridge is my own personal version of a Stephen King novel. Because upon closer inspection it seems like trash-fridge chili is following me. Haunting me…
Oh come on
I might have created a sentient being in trash-fridge. And I feel like I’m not paranoid in saying that the ghost of it is trying to murder me. IT’S THE CHILI OF THE UNDEAD!
Happy Halloween, all!
Filed under apartment, cooking, food, Holidays, horrifying, science! technology!, zombies
You life is not so great 