Category Archives: work

You Life on Fire

Wow, my laziness has gotten the best of me in regards to updating the ol’ You Life. Let’s change that, and I can make empty promises to be more diligent about keeping this current. Since, I’m a sort of finger on the pulse of politics kinda girl here’s a topical post.

In the inter-office chat we discuss stupidity, and I knock it out of the park with my zingers. I also changed everyone’s chat icons to G.I. Joe characters (with the exception of myself, which I have indicated as such).

Take that wealthy politicians! Be hurt by my bitchery.

Take that wealthy politicians! Be hurt by my bitchery.

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Filed under Cartoon, politics, work

Why not drop me a line?

At my job we have an inter-office chat where your co-workers can hit you up about whatever they have a question about, or just general shenanigans. We can put little inspirational quotes above our names that give glimpses into the inner psyche of you as a worker bee.

Here is mine:

and she wouldn't give it to me!!!!

and she wouldn’t give it to me!!!!

No one’s gotten it.

PS I did not green-light that photo of me. It’s the cruel image that the sadistic people that take our ID photos took. And for some reason it’s linked to everything I do at the office.

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Filed under music, work

Abandoned hot dogs: the unspoken mystery

Today in the world of the Internet I started a new research project regarding the world’s favorite phallic-shaped, baseball treat: the hot dog. But to be more specific, is there a particular cluster of individuals that randomly abandons hot dogs?

Google searching “abandoned hot dog” brought up some tantalizing images that would surely infect my work computer with the gnarliest of viruses if I had the opportunity to peruse them longer (co-workers and bosses really throwing a wrench into the explicit imagery searches at the workplace).

Editing the search terms slightly (“famous abandoned hot dogs,” “people that lose hot dogs,” “getting rid of hot dogs”) generated some extremely interesting photos, including the following:

of course Miley popped up in the searches

of course Miley popped up in the searches

The reason for this current Internet sleuthing has been a current(ish) workplace quandary. One day someone brought in uncooked hot dogs in a plastic bag, took them out of the fridge, and then just left it by the sink for the entire day. This isn’t a giant break room that you’d see at some Goliath of industry. It’s the place where the free coffee lives, and anyone that goes in there once would go in there a hundred times.

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Hour 3 of abandoned hot dog, let us reflect

In the mystery of the displaced hot dog: who is the sort of person that brings in hot dogs to their office, takes it out of the fridge, and then completely abandons it? And why leave it on the side of the sink? And did the person never ever return to the break room and see their hot dog left by the sink? And if they did come in and see it, why not throw it away? WHY IS THIS HOT DOG ABANDONED HERE?

It’s summer, topics are slow. Hot dogs are perfectly reasonable subject material.

missing hot dog

Actually, Missing Poster, I do believe that this is the correct usage of “your”

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Filed under work

I see your true colors shining!

I find the best way to deal with condescending former managers is to internet stalk them and create something beautiful out of whatever it is I find online. In that theme, I bring you:

Your true colors True colors are beautiful, Like a rainbow

Your true colors
True colors are beautiful,
Like a rainbow

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Filed under horrible bosses, work

#mydunkin is always bleak

I really appreciate how Dunkin Donuts encourages their patrons to share various Dunkin-related stories. Historically it’s always worked out well for me (see here and here) and I’m glad that the organization cares so much about my welfare and general habits to inquire about #mydunkin.

My story involves being an office temp at a job where I get to watch the full-time employees enjoy perks such as the boss bringing in a cardboard gallon of Dunkin Donuts coffee for them. And after, when the full-time employees are throwing a party with a specific note on the door that says “FULL-TIME EMPLOYEES ONLY” I decided to take several of the unused Dunkin cups, go into the secret party room filled with food and paid sick leave, and filled them with mac n cheese. So I guess #mydunkin involves pilfering food and cups from my office superiors and hiding at my temporary desk while eating it.

#mydunkin arrives in my tummy through swindling and shame!

#mydunkin arrives in my tummy through swindling and shame

I also stole the spoon

I also stole the spoon

 

 

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Filed under broke, food, Uncategorized, work

The Incredible Hulk of Vending Machines

Office vending machines are the prime area to communicate with the future robot leaders of this world (see: this, this, this, this – honestly this blog is basically pizza, cats, and my fear of the robot apocalypse coupled with leaving notes on vending machines).

And on that note, here is a hilarious update on that front:

HUBRIS!

HUBRIS!

That’s what happens when you screw with the robots, duder.

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Filed under comics, doodles, robots, science! technology!, work

This is the dawning of the age of the bitchy office notes

At first I was willing to deal with the office monster in extremely good humor. See ? I even came to the defense of the fridge monster because 1. That note was written by the hand of someone who gives too much of a fuck 2. Because fridge monster at that point had eaten two containers of hummus I left in there and I wasn’t really that bothered because 3. I used to be the fridge monster at my last job

But since I wrote my hilarious response to office bastardry, and I thought I had sorted out some solidarity with hungry co-worker and fellow thief; fridge monster seems to have taken sole and exclusive comfort in my lunch bag. With extreme consumption prejudice – they ate my leftovers.  I’ve retaliated.
photo (1)
photo (2)

I don’t even know myself anymore.  The hunted has become the hunter.

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Filed under Animals, broke, cranky, food, work