From You Life to you:
gobble, y’all
Tag Archives: doodles
It is our mighty banner under which we fly:
This is a universal truth.
The finer details of fire safety
The other night I decided to make nachos as a celebratory meal for finishing a Tuesday well done. And also because I feel less pathetic cooking dinner for one (plus cats) when it’s a featured item on the Chili’s menu.
Some people think “nachos” and this is what is brought to their imagination:
whoever made this is a miracle worker of culinary proportions
I make a less traditional nacho, comprised of only two ingredients:
This is more my speed
After throwing those into the broiler there are some that might diligently wait by the oven and wait for the cheese to melt and then proceed with feasting. But I am not some, and instead walked to my local 7-11 to get additional grocery-like supplies.
I returned to a miniature conflagration in my kitchen.
Since I paid attention in grade school I knew that I needed to get a fire extinguisher right quick. I ran to my hallway to grab it and that is where I found:
Happy 2013!
As it turns out, a fire extinguisher two years expired doesn’t work on a molten mass of flaming triscuits. So I did what any person would do. I grabbed six towels, opened the window, and threw the firey food into the softly falling snow.
And then I left a PSA where the expired fire extinguisher used to be for my landlord to see
What did you do at work today?
love me
Because I stole a co-worker’s hot sauce and made it into a baby.
My loves – they’re droppin’ like flies
What the dip is going on? First Davy Jones and now Larry Hagman? I am distraught. Highly highly distraught.
My childhood crushes are now dropping like flies. This could be because most of my childhood crushes were either musicians or actors from the 60s, but I refuse to acknowledge the limitations of: death, aging, and the absence of time travel. Also, yes, for many years – including a two year reoccurrence in my early twenties – I had an extremely significant crush on Larry Hagman as Tony Nelson in I Dream of Jeannie.
Who wouldn’t?
There was something about that stern face and constant disapproval that I found extremely appealing, even at a young age. This might be the genesis of my attraction to emotionally unavailable men, but –damn- if Tony Nelson didn’t look smokin’ when he once again verbally expressed his outrage at Jeannie’s bullshit.
What kind of fucked up nonsense are you going to get me into today?
So it is with a heavy heart that I bid adieu to my childhood dreamboat, Tony Nelson. I will never be able to spend endless hours watching seasons 1 & 2 after a night of whiskey drinking and not think of your scowling hotness with both fondness and regret.
May you dream of Janie. In heaven.
Also, this is a specific Tony Nelson love. I can’t abide by that JR bull.
Thanks for the memories
Filed under celebrities, doodles
The great and powerful landlord – plus new neighbors
As far as I know, I have a landlord. Every month I send a rent check, two weeks late, to a person. The check definitely gets cashed, generally resulting in a massive overdraft fee. At one point while in Chicago I got a call from a medical supply store that turned out to be my landlord telling me that my check bounced. The voice was certainly pissed.
Other than that – nope. He’s a mystery. Don’t know his name, what he looks like, or what he actually does. I didn’t have heat for an entire winter. I don’t have a number where I can contact him – let alone a maintenance man.
This is what I think he might look like
hmm…that looks a bit like Johnny Cash during the end days. Failure.
Let’s try that again:
IGNORE THE MAN BEHIND THE CURTAIN THAT CALLS YOU FROM A MEDICAL SUPPLY STORE!
However, I know he isn’t an illusion. My landlord is a man of flesh and blood. I know this because sometimes he leaves me gifts outside my door.
I wonder what he is trying to to tell me?
Evidently a furrier new tenant has also moved in recently.
Titanic: a retrospect
My friend Shawn (he did a guest post on robots) has the coolest dog in the world. He’s a miniature Pinscher named Vader. I absolutely love this little dog:
Players gonna play
He is a lady killer and a total pimp. His yips are as iconic in our group of friends as Andy Warhol’s soup can. He charms even the hardest of hearts; he’ll eat the largest of Baconators®.
He seduces the most curmudgeonly of souls
So, as a birthday gift for Shawn I decided to draw the portrait in Titanic the way it was meant to be drawn. While many might view the supple naked body of a young Kate Winslet to be beyond improvements…I saw an area in which it was lacking. It was completely absent of Vader.
I rectified that problem:
Draw me like one of your French Vaders. Wearing this. Wearing ONLY this.
Eat it James Cameron.
Filed under dogs
Piss poor pandas
My love for you infuriates me!
Anyone who knows me has heard my undying hatred for pandas. I think they are the most passive aggressive animals that ever existed; I am entirely confused as to why we don’t let these little bastards just throw themselves, and their beary girth, into extinction.
I liked drawing an angry panda because I feel as though that’s what pandas are like under their placid demeanor, they burn with a secret rage because people won’t let them just kill themselves off. They refuse to fuck in the wild, they abandon their young in the small chance that they do copulate, and they are non-carnivorous bears. WHAT OTHER HINTS DO WE NEED?
…that being said I want to go to the Wolong panda reserve to let a baby panda hug train get run on me
A very special You Life
You Life has been in mourning since leap year. The Monkees were an integral part of my development and are, most likely, why I am the way I am today (the good parts of me, not the parts that get confused for a homeless person).
And while it might seem unusual for a twenty-something to be so effected by this loss, I can confidently say that many life decisions I have made are because of the Monkees.
It explains my relationships
It shouldn’t matter that I was always a Peter fan:
I am taking the Davy news EXTREMELY hard. It has manifested, mostly, in crying and listening to “Daydream Believer” on an endless, tear stained, loop.
Also, it might have manisfested in spending an entire day at work making this. You Life never claimed they were an artist, but their love is true
Whenever I need to make a decision between two women, I will heed Davy’s sage advice:
Filed under doodles, music, Uncategorized
You life is not so great 